


Vanilla Hazelnut and Two Sugars

by veritashopian



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Candlenights, Claustrophobia, Fireside Chats, Friendship, Gen, I just like the dynamic of 'resident seer bugs resident destiny burnout', If You Squint - Freeform, Power Outage, Snowed In, TAZ Amnesty, TAZ Candlenights Exchange 2019, but for now it's just them getting to know one another, coffee as a metaphor for friendship, idk if you ship it or not so it's up to you, indruck, sternclay, yes I ship them yes this is the precursor to bigfoot falling in love with an fbi agent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:48:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22275112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veritashopian/pseuds/veritashopian
Summary: “Abominations are no excuse not to celebrate the holidays,” Mama had told him on more than one occasion. Nevertheless, Barclay always felt that decorating in the days leading up to the full moon wasn’t the best way he could be spending his time. Then again, neither was plying the federal investigator sent to hunt down Bigfoot with caffeine.OR"We’re at the ranger station. Long story short, shit’s about to go real south out there and it’s only gonna get worse if you let Agent Stern go into town to do whatever it is he’s gonna do. Indrid says you gotta keep him there at least until ten, or else we’re gettin’ real close to doomed timeline territory.”
Relationships: Barclay/Agent Stern (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 138
Collections: The Candlenights Zone (2019 Exchange)





	Vanilla Hazelnut and Two Sugars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ShadowAndPurgatory](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowAndPurgatory/gifts).



> So many thanks to thecandlenightszone on tumblr for organizing the exchange this year! Enjoy :D

Barclay sipped his coffee and sighed in quiet contentment. The view out of the big sitting window in the lodge lobby was always beautiful, but there was just something about Monongahela in the falling snow that made things seem otherworldly. Fitting, then, that an otherworldly being would find it so comforting. He raised the mug to his lips once again and relished the lingering warmth.

It was a quiet night, and he was sure it would continue to be so. Aside from him, every lodge resident was off doing something out and about the town. Dani, Aubrey, and Jake had somehow convinced Ned Chicane to let them host a _Night at the Museum_ style sleepover at the Cryptonomica, so their rambunctious collective energy was only a fond memory at this point. Mama had taken some of the older residents on an overnight road trip so they wouldn’t feel left out, leaving Barclay in charge of the empty lodge in her absence.

“Barclay?”

Right. Mostly empty.

Barclay sat up a little straighter and turned to see Agent Stern watching him from his usual armchair. “Yes, agent? Can I help you with something?”

“Not at all,” the agent replied. “I was only wondering if you’d like some more coffee. You’ve been trying to drink out of an empty mug for about ten minutes.”

Barclay looked down and sure enough, his mug was completely empty. “Ah, right. Thank you, I’ll go get it myself. I was just lost in thought, I guess. Do you want some while I’m up? The pot’s still on the warmer, and it’s not decaf.”

Stern gave a jerky little nod and turned back to his laptop. “Yes, please. If you don’t mind.”

“Wouldn’t have offered if I did.” Barclay slid off the wide window ledge and padded toward his kitchen in the thick wool socks Mama had gifted him last holiday season. That time of year would be upon them again soon, and he really should start getting the usual decorations and such together, but…

_“Abominations are no excuse not to celebrate the holidays,”_ Mama had told him on more than one occasion. Nevertheless, Barclay always felt that decorating in the days leading up to the full moon wasn’t the best way he could be spending his time. Then again, neither was plying the federal investigator sent to hunt down Bigfoot with caffeine.

Lost in thought once again, Barclay found himself back in the lobby and setting down a mug of coffee the made the way Stern usually ordered it- two sugars and one vanilla hazelnut creamer. Stern picked it up with a quiet “thank you,” not looking away from his laptop until he had the first sip. The look of surprise on his face quickly schooled itself back to neutrality. “ _Thank_ you,” he said again, more meaningful than the usual social nicety. “I know you guard your flavored creamer carefully.”

Barclay’s face flushed, and he raised his own mug to cover it up. “I don’t- it’s not that I don’t want people to have it in their coffee,” he replied after a beat. “It’s just that Jake likes to drink it straight and I have to protect it from him.”

“So that’s why you changed the subject so quickly the other morning when I asked if you had any,” Stern said with a soft chuckle. “And here I was thinking that the good flavors were reserved only for your friends.”

Barclay’s mouth opened, but then he realized he had no clue how he was going to respond to that. _They aren’t_ wasn’t a very nice way to answer, pretty much telling Stern that Barclay didn’t consider him a friend. _You’re my friend_ wasn’t truthful though, because even though Stern had been staying at Amnesty for months, there was a reason he was the only one left while everyone else was out having fun. So he just took another sip of his own coffee and made a noncommittal hum.

Stern’s face shifted oddly and he turned back to his work, serious once more. “In any case, thank you again for the coffee. I should probably finish this up and submit it before I head into town for the night.”

“Cool, cool. For sure.” Barclay awkwardly ambled away, back over to the front desk. That’s where he should have been in the first place, not staring at the snow from the window. It might not seem like it most of the time, but Amnesty Lodge was an actual hotel and he was in charge. Time to be an adult.

As if on cue, the desk phone rang right as Barclay sat down. He set down his coffee and picked up the phone, saying “Kepler Amnesty Lodge, this is Barclay speaking. How can I help you?”

“Barclay!” A voice shouted down the line. “Please tell me Stern ain’t left yet!”

“Duck?”

“No dipshit, it’s the Loch Ness monster- yeah it’s Duck! Is Stern there or not?”

“Yes, why? What’s going on?”

“Thank fuck,” Duck mutters before his voice grows farther away and he shouts, “Still there, is that helping?”

To Barclay’s surprise, he heard what sounded like Indrid’s voice in the background yelling something. Barclay hadn’t realized they were hanging out. “Duck are you at the campgrounds?”

“Alright, I’ll tell him- nah, we’re at the ranger station. Long story short, shit’s about to go real south out there and it’s only gonna get worse if you let Agent Stern go into town to do whatever it is he’s gonna do. Indrid says you gotta keep him there at least until ten, or else we’re gettin’ real close to doomed timeline territory.”

“It- it’s not time for that yet,” Barclay stammered, suddenly very aware that Stern was only a dozen yards away.

“Ain’t an abomination far as Mr. Future Vision can tell, but you seriously can’t let Stern outta your sight, got it?”

“I really don’t know how you expect me to-“

“Ah shit, _Indrid that’s not a-!_ Dammit, he said you might have to swallow your pride or somethin’? I’m hangin’ up now, last thing is that Indrid wants you to save him some-“

Barclay didn’t hear the rest of the sentence, because at that moment all of the power in Amnesty Lodge went out.

From somewhere over near the fireplace, Barclay heard a soft, defeated “shit” and the sound of a laptop being shut. 

“Okay over there?” Barclay asked. “Didn’t lose everything, did ya?”

“No, fortunately I have everything saved that needs to be. I just won’t be able to submit this tonight without a working net connection.” Stern gingerly set his computer aside and started packing up his various notebooks and pens. “I guess I’ll have to bring this with me when I go out, see if there’s anywhere else I can bum an ethernet cable.”

“No!” Barclay all but shouted, making Stern jump. “I mean.. you’ve worked on that all day. I’m sure your boss or whoever will understand if you don’t submit it until tomorrow.”

It was hard to read Stern’s expression. With the fireplace behind him, his face was cast in shadows. But his body language was easy enough to clock- he held himself stiffly in a way that screamed suspicion. “You don’t want me to take my laptop with me when I go?”

“I don’t want you to go at all,” Barclay answered honestly. Maybe too honestly for someone trying to keep a secret. Try again. “It’s, uh, it’s dark out there. And cold. Snow up to your knees and everything. Sooooo you should stay. Here. With me.” Dammit Duck, way to pass on your shitty lying skills via phone call!

Now Stern really seemed suspicious. He gathered up his things and walked carefully through the dim lobby up to the desk. “Barclay,” he said slowly. “Are you afraid of the dark?”

Barclay froze. _That’s_ what Stern got out of that?

_Swallow your pride._

“You… could say that,” Barclay said with a wince and a nervous little laugh. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t- you don’t have to stay just to make me feel better, you’ve got important stuff to do-“

“No, no!” Stern surprised Barclay by interrupting his rambling with a reassuring smile. “I’ll stay, absolutely I’ll stay here. I completely understand why you wouldn’t want to stay here alone with the power out.”

“Oh,” Barclay said weakly. “Um, thank you agent.”

Stern’s smile wavered and he averted his eyes. “You… Barclay, you know you can just call me Joseph if you want, right? I’m not… I didn’t come here to be the big scary FBI man.”

Barclay blinked. Had he not actually called Stern by his first name before? Probably not. It was kind of hard to see past the suit sometimes. “Oh, for sure. I wasn’t doing it on purpose.

Just those uh, darn southern mannerisms running away with me again I guess. Sir and ma’am and officer and all that. But thanks… Joseph. I appreciate that. And I don’t think you’re big and scary.”

That knocked a laugh from Agent- _Joseph’s_ chest. “Well, of course _you_ don’t think so. You’ve got at least a foot on me. Is _anything_ scary to you, other than the dark?”

Honesty was probably the best way forward here, so… “It’s not so much.. the dark. I don’t like tight spaces or feeling trapped,” Barclay admitted. “Being locked up or boxed in. Makes road trips difficult sometimes, and times like this when I don’t feel like I could get up and leave if I needed to.”

“I’d say so,” Joseph agreed. There was a look on his face that was probably a little too understanding to be purely sympathy. “If it makes you feel any better you’re not the only one. I got a little better with managing it while going through my FBI training, but close quarters are still not pleasant for me either.”

Barclay shivered suddenly- right, no heater- and picked up his mug to warm his hands. “Here, if we’re gonna stay put we should probably keep close to the fire and keep it going. I’d say I should go out back and see if I can get a generator working, but we only have the one and it’s already hooked up to the hot springs and-“

“It’s okay,” Joseph said. “I doubt I’d be of much help with that and I wouldn't make you do it on your own out in that snow. Come on, let’s sit. I’ll- I can show you some tricks I know for managing negative reactions to claustrophobia, if you want.”

A genuine smile of gratitude works its way onto Barclay’s face. “Yeah? That sounds like it could be fun.”

* * *

Barclay woke up the next morning with his neck absolutely _killing_ him. He groaned softly and rolled over in the window ledge, taking in his surroundings. The power was still out in the lobby, and he couldn’t be bothered to worm his arm out from under his pile of blankets and check the time. If he was judging the sun right (not always a given, considering he used to have a different damn sun) it was somewhere between seven and eight in the morning. He rolled over the other way.

Joseph was right where Barclay last saw him, sleeping soundly on the couch. They’d pulled it closer to the fireplace last night for warmth and talked for hours, Barclay regaling Joseph with stories about lodge shenanigans and Joseph giving Barclay highly redacted retellings of some of his past missions. Barclay had tried to be discreet about checking his watch, breathing a sigh of relief when ten o’clock came and went without incident.

It was nice. More than nice, actually. In the low light of the fire, everything looked softer around the edges. Joseph was good company, and did eventually get around to teaching Barclay some breathing techniques he would definitely be using later. 

Now he just had to find out what the hell happened down in Kepler.

Just as he finally got himself untangled from his blankets and up on his feet, there was a knock at the front door. He hurried to go get it before whoever it was could wake up Joseph. It shouldn’t have been a surprise to open the door and find none other than Duck Newton and Indrid Cold standing in the snow, dirt on their faces and twigs in their hair. They were both bundled up for the weather, but Indrid was a sight. In more coats than Barclay could count, he thought privately that Indrid looked more like his original form, all round and fluffy with his big red glasses poking over the top.

“Good morning,” Indrid chirped. “Your power won’t be back on until a little after noon, so we thought we’d help with breakfast.”

“What on-?”

“Comin’ through,” Duck grunted. Barclay finally tore his eyes away from the mess on their skin and clothes to see the hefty looking generator Duck hauled into the lodge. “I’m gonna put this in the kitchen, that alright? And I’m gonna have to insist on coffee, lots of it. The destiny shit I fuckin’ deal with, I swear to fuckin’ God.”

“Thank you again for your help,” Indrid called after him. “The blend you like is on the top shelf.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Barclay ushered Indrid inside, closing the door before the heat could get out. “You realize you’re gonna have to tell me everything at some point, right? About this whole crazy scheme?”

“Oh I will,” Indrid agreed as he started shedding layers. “But for now, you should know that a power line went down across Main Street. Turns out a janitor from the local high school was in a police chase and skipped town with a tidy sum of money he’d embezzled from the school.”

“O…kay?” That was a lot to take in.

“No one was hurt,” Indrid assured him. “Though according to what I’ve heard, there was some damage to the library. The internet kiosks shorted out when the line went down and started a small fire. It’s lucky no one was using the computers at the time, or they might have been severely electrocuted or burned.”

Barclay choked on his own tongue. “Oh.” And then he blinked. “Hold on, in that case what the _hell_ did you two-?”

“Alright chuckleheads, guess who made coffee!” Duck burst into the lobby with a tray full of four steaming mugs and what looked like Barclay’s entire stock of cream and sugar. “I have work in an hour, let’s get this over with.”

That, apparently, was enough to stir Joseph to wakefulness. He sat up on the couch and yawned, stretching his arms up above his head. He’d removed his suit jacket at some point during the evening, and his button down shirt was rumpled from sleep, as was his normally slicked back hair.

“G’morning,” he said softly, looking around the lobby and visibly waking up. “Ah, Mr. Cold. Mr. Newton. What a surprise to see you both here this morning.”

“Well, uh, fuck, the snow? Generator. I made coffee.”

“Say no more.” Joseph hurried over to grab a clearly needed mug of coffee, dumping two sugar packets in immediately. His hand hovered over the pile of creamer cups, and Barclay could tell what he was searching for.

“Hold on,” he said, and went back to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and reached for a tub of country crock on the top shelf; used up, rinsed, and hiding his stash of flavored creamer. He grabbed two of the vanilla hazelnut on a hunch and went back to the lobby just in time to see Indrid place the last of ten empty sugar packets to the side. 

“Here,” Barclay said with a roll of his eyes. “Can’t imagine why you need it now, but here.”

Indrid perked up. “Ah, you did save me one! Thank you, Barclay.” He took the creamer and added it to his coffee, now so full that the drink lapped at the rim of his mug.

Barclay turned and offered the other creamer to Joseph with a wink. “Course I did,” he smiled. “I always reserve the good flavors for my friends.”

The smile and pleased flush that spread across Joseph’s face weren’t anything otherworldly, but they still managed to remind Barclay of home.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so confession time, I had a completely different little fic all written up and my power got knocked out by storms so I couldn't post it. By the time I got back to it I wasn't satisfied with what I'd written and proceeded to write this entire thing in half a day. I really hope you like it! I had way more inspiration and motivation for this one than the original idea, which I may end up posting later if I can get it to vibe with me again. Also, it might be a fun challenge for myself to try and actually figure out what Indrid and Duck were up to.
> 
> Happy Candlenights <3


End file.
